Apr. 15th, 2017

ladyshadowdrake: (Default)
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i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed ‘Evil Chancellor Traytor’. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, ‘chancellor’ just came with the word ‘evil’ in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like ‘grand’ or ‘high’ or something along those lines.

Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancellor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called ‘the kingslayer’.

The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the ‘settlement’ in my sister and I’s closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched up by the dog.

The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the ‘evil’ in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler - or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people.

But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader; because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the ‘machinery of politics’ working as smoothly as ever.

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he’d done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don’t know why but we got the biggest kick out of being like:

Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can’t the king see how wicked he is?!

Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char!

Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king’s back, we’ll know where to look!

Evil Chancellor Traytor’s Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn’t looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs… *insert iconic evil laugh*

Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom’s cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I’s games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special ‘episode’ where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor’s diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that ‘Traytor’s grave would have a body’ (this seemed very important for some reason).

And then we had the Quest For a New King. Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called ‘Tyrant King Cobra’.
ladyshadowdrake: (Default)
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I was tagged by @phoenixtawnyflower

Nickname: I have many! I call myself the Jack of All Names. LSD works, if you like. Zodiac Sign: VirgoHeight: 5′6″Last thing you googled: Firm buttercream frostingFavorite musical artist: This changes almost day to day. For the moment we’ll say ChevelleSong stuck in my head: “Cold” by Maroon 5Last Movie you watched: Kubo and the Two Strings - loved it!What are you wearing right now: Mostly powdered sugar? xD I am wearing a purple cotton halter tunic/dress thing and a pair of lounging pants. And a lot of powdered sugar.Why did you choose your URL: It’s a take on “Lights, Camera, Action!” as applied to story telling. Also because Tumblr was being stupid the day I signed up, and I had to keep coming up with more and more complicated names (I have since created another blog with my first try @ladyshadowdrake, so I know it was just Tumblr glitching)Religious or spiritual: I am an atheistFavorite color: Purple or green depending on the dayAverage hours of sleep: About 6?Lucky number: 8 - I like symmetryFavorite characters: Tony Stark, Tony Stark, Tony Sta - oh, did I say that already? All of the Avengers really, all of the Sense8 folks, Spock ofc… Tarod from the Time Master Trilogy was a favorite of mine as a kid, and Irene Sulaweyo a favorite from Otherland. I have too many favorite characters to list.How many blankets do you sleep with? 1/2 to 7 depending on the season (I live in Las Vegas, so a light blanket tossed over the hips is about it in the summer, and in the winter I end up with a mountain of blankets)Dream Job: I want to say something like professional bunny petter. xD More realistic, paid writer of some variety??

Anyone who would like to play the get to know you game, please feel free to fill this out and tag me so I can come say hello!
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1930s: a proud decade of uninhibited lipstick usage
1940s: a vivid array of grays are available
1950s: quietly judging you: the decade
1960s: now you too can pretend to be hugh heffner while sitting at home alone
1970s: exactly as awful as expected
1980s: advertisers discover that not only white people exist


Hey tumblr, have you ever thought to yourself, “dang it’d sure be cool to set a project in something other than the current times,” but when you go to look up references on google, all you get is a horrible historical pastiche of days gone by?

Well boy howdy, do I have a reference for you!

The Wishbook Web has scans of entire consumer catalogs from past decades, ranging from the early 30s to the late 80s. Each catalog has pages upon pages of reference of clothing, accessories, and shoes for all ages, as well as toys, gadgets, and all sorts of junk that you might buy for yourself or your loved ones. While the website exclusively has Christmas catalogs, the photos and illustrations show products that you could use year-round.

that link doesn’t work but this one does!
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@arealcharmingprincess:  I refuse to believe Peggy Carter wasn’t appointed a Dame Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire by her close friend Queen Elizabeth II because she damn well deserves it for her service to the country, for saving the world more than once, and scaring Hydra for seventy years until she retired.
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A Surprise Pride and Prejudice Engagement

(Note: This isn’t me)

See? This is a tailor-made proposal. Not some “big screen of basketball game nonsense. This person took into account his girlfriend’s pastimes and favourite things in the world, knew how close to the family she was and engineered the perfect engagement proposal, without a doubt managing to make sure this would please her (surely her mother and sisters would know).

This is how you do big gestures.

This is so awesome I can’t even.  

Also, the look on her face as she came into the house.  Hehehehehehe! 


Wow! So impressed with Mr.Darcy and the whole family!

need me a freak like that

The look on her face in all of these pics! It’s incredibly obvious she figured out where this was going once she was handed a script and knew who was cast as Darcy. I’m amazed all the pics after that aren’t her just tearing up at this whole thing. :)


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