Apr. 1st, 2017

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Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

The earworm thing, though, would have to be so confusing to other species.

Human (quietly singing): doublemint gum! Will make you smile! Doublemint gum! Da da da (suddenly shouts) DAMMIT!

Alien: what’s wrong Human Karen? Are you injured?

Karen: no, it’s this damn song. I am so freaking sick of it

Alien: then??? maybe??? don’t sing it????

Oh my god though, humans are super adorable.  Have you ever seen two humans working really hard to make each other laugh?  It’s the best.

So far as the research been able to determine, the make-other-humans-laugh instinct is a crucial social behavior, important in both pack-bonding and pair-bonding, something like communal eating.  Often it’s actually combined with communal eating or drinking.

In one particularly weird form of this behavior, many humans will gather in one space, usually with food and drink, and a single human will engage in trying to make all the others laugh.  The behavior isn’t reciprocated by the group, and most of the time the single human leaves alone rather than in company with any of the other humans, making this by all evidence a completely altruistic act.

Okay then, explain the colored pieces of paper and plastic that they exchange before doing almost anything outside the nest.

Whew.  Researchers have been arguing about those forever – personally I lean towards the idea that it’s another form of social behavior, maintaining loose bonds between members of the larger pack, as it’s observably much rarer between closer pack-members.  The other prevailing theory is that it’s related to the personal ornamentation behavior; humans will collect the colored paper and plastic, and then either show it to other humans or actually give it to other humans as a way of establishing individual status, much the same way as they might hang colored objects on their bodies or in their nests.
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handletheheat.com

This is SO important.

this is on my obligatory reblog list

THIS IS VERY COOL FOODY AND SCIENCEY

always chill your cookie dough if you want still chewy/soft cookies after a few days (or if you’re shipping them).

keep’s the bastards from spreading out too quickly in the oven and therefor keeps them nice and soft in the middle while keeping them from suffering from that underdone soggy thing that some times happens.

THANK YOU ALTON BROWN

@copperbadge

This site is super informative, and it’s actually one of the sites I consulted when I was concocting the Fuck It Brownies recipe – just tons of good info. 

That said…the person doing the testing/eating often has a very specific kind of outcome they want, and it is almost never the outcome I want, which I find kind of hilarious. It’s very much a sense of “thank you for testing and rejecting several recipes, I will take reject #2 because we want drastically different things out of a muffin.”

For @fritokal

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